Tracy Bloom on Being a Bestseller

I’m delighted to welcome the lovely Tracy Bloom as my guest on the blog today  – over to you, Tracy!

The day NO-ONE EVER HAS SEX ON A TUESDAY become a Best Seller!

I thought you might like the low-down on what happens the first day you become a best selling writer.  Is it champagne filled glamour or just another day at the office? Read on to find out how it went for me.

Daughter climbed in bed at 2am waking me up. Couldn’t resist a quick check of my Amazon rankings. #6!!! Spent next hour gazing at Best Seller screen on Kindle.

Woke at 6am. Looked again at rankings. #4!! Sent text to husband who is away with work. He called immediately waking daughter and son up. A bit cross with him!!

Spoke to husband who was on speaker phone whilst he shaved. First time he has ever multi-tasked. This is turning out to be an amazing day.

Show son Best Seller screen on Amazon. He asks when am I going to get ahead of that ‘David Brown’ and said he prefers the cover of the ‘Bolero’ book to mine.

Have Froot Loops in celebration for breakfast rather than Special K. Success is already no good for my diet!

Still only 7.30am so pace the house waiting to be able to call someone…..anyone!

Build some Lego for sons Harry Potter assault course. One of Harry’s challenges is now to do Karaoke with daughters Lego Friends.

Mop the kitchen floor.

Speak to agent just after 9am. Unable to with-hold emotion. Have a little cry.

Finally get mother on the phone. She is openly proud. That’s a first.

Strip the beds and put sheets in the wash (it’s a good drying day) whilst children pretend to be slugs in the empty duvet covers.

Console wailing children who have banged heads whilst pretending to be slugs in empty duvet covers.

Tell kids we’ll go out for a celebratory lunch. They choose to go to a Carvery! (they are so eighties retro)

Eat too much roast beef. Feel a bit sick.

Play tag in the pub garden. Feel really sick.

Go to visit the in-laws so they can play tag and I can sit down.

Iron ten thousand white shirts in preparation for kids going back to school the next day. Kids watch TV for too long but it’s Horrible Histories so I’m educating them.

Inevitable shouting match at bedtime as we are all tired and irritable but eventually kids settle down.

Do 30 mins on the exercise bike. Success is good for my diet.

Drink half a bottle of wine to toast my success.

Send texts to anyone who knows me….some replied….some told me to just calm down!!

So there you have it. A day in the life of a best selling author! NO-ONE EVER HAS SEX ON A TUESDAY actually went on to hit the number 1 spot  at which point the champagne did make an appearance as I did a Formula 1 style spraying all over the garden. Kids now ask loudly outside school “When are we doing that champagne thing again mummy?” which means the other mothers no-longer speak to me for my poor parenting habits!

Thanks, Tracy! I think I’m most impressed at the exercise bike part…

Never has a one-night stand led to such chaos!

Childhood sweethearts Matthew and Katy agree they must never see each other again after they end up in bed together following a school re-union.
So all is forgotten… until eight months later when a shock meeting at an antenatal class forces them to confront the fact that Matthew could be the father of Katy’s baby. Oblivious to the mayhem unfolding, Matthew’s highly-strung wife frets over giving birth to twins and Katy’s much younger boyfriend refuses to take fatherhood seriously.

Love and life are messy but Katy and Matthew take things to a whole new level as deep emotions begin to resurface and hormones run riot.

How will they navigate their way through this almighty cock-up?

Catch up with Tracy on Twitter at @TracyBBloom and buy her brilliant book here

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